First Chinese Worship in Church

Today we had our first chinese worship (as bilingual) in church. God is good. We sang some of the songs in Mandarin besides English. I could see the joy in the pastor's eyes and face. The pieces of puzzle just fall into its place perfectly, in His time. I never thought that it would be possible as i recalled back to the time when i first attended the church about 1.5 years ago. Back then, we used to have the regular Russian service in church every Sunday.

As for me, i knew little about Russian especially when I first got here. Therefore, i was like more on trying to read the lyrics on the screen rather than singing the songs or worship. I remember a senior cum fren of mine (he was the one who first brought me to the church when i was seeking God's will for church to attend) so kind.. very often he sang louder.. so that i could follow him.. maybe he wasn't knew that i followed him (you know who you are). Sometimes when we came to a familiar song.. once which have its English version.. then we would be singing in the English version as my fren started it. The whole thing.. on and off.. sometimes i went to other churches.

Earlier last semester, I felt that an inner voice called me to keep attend this church even though the whole thing was still in Russian which I couldn't really understand much. Although we were attending the Russian service, however, most of the time God provided brother or sister in the church to do the translation for us. A couple of weeks after the start of the new semester, the pastor in church decided to hold a service that would be conducted entirely in English for us. It's a good news for us.. a love gift from God.

Last November (14th-16th, year 2008), me & a couple of frens went for a Chinese church camp somewhere in the outskirt. From there we met a group of new frens who came from China. Most of them accepted Christ during the camp and we became good frens after the camp. When we get together, we felt like a family, a bond which couldn't described by merely words except owing it to the love from our Heavenly Father. By then, I could tell why God put a seemingly strange desire in me.. the desire to make fren with Chinese (especially those who come from China mainland) and share gospel with them whenever i met some Chinese out in the city.. whether it's in the theatre.. in the bus..

As we sang the first worship song in Mandarin today, i was so touched... and the tears just dropped... simply cause i could tell how much God loves His child...

Reaching For You

Just got back from my Philosophy class.. in between class... awaiting for my Russian intensive class. This morning we watched a film on how the earth was formed etc... i wanted to say.. the answers that the Scientist or Philosopher trying hard to find.. are all in the Bible... Genesis chapter one till early of chapter two.

The song "Reaching For You" was playing in my mind... so i just searched for it from my mp3 playlist. As i listened to it again, i really like the lyrics... especially the very 1st sentence and the last one.

"I can't believe the way Your love has got a hold on me... I stand here before You... In wide opened wonder... Amazed at the glory of You... The power of heaven... Revealing Your purpose in me... As I'm reaching for You."

This is a song that reminded me of the memories back in Sydney - a quiet time with God and also a time for emotional healing... also a time for reflection in life. Sometimes you just get tired of the walk of life, and need the rest... in Daddy God's arm - the hiding place.

Here goes the lyrics...


"I can't believe the way
Your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears
And set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You
In wide opened wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You"

The Pain of Child Bearing

Yesterday morning was suddenly having this thought again.. the thought about the pain that a woman has to go through when she's giving birth to baby... the excruciating pain... i wonder i could stand the pain too. Couldn't understand fully why suddenly i would have this thinking... until later...

Once a fren of mine smsed me... to tell how fearful she was... while she was having the excruciating birth pain and was about to being sent to the operating theatre... i could imagine how traumatic it was...

The birth pains.. also reminded me of what God said to the serpent in Genesis chapter 3:

16 To the woman he said,

"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;

with pain you will give birth to children.

Your desire will be for your husband,

and he will rule over you."

But the good news is... Christ has redeemed us. There are testimonies of women giving birth to babies without having to go through the usual birth pains (miraculous birth).. it does happen today.

Later while i was spending time with God.. i opened the Bible and my eyes fall on Isaiah 26. I was feeling a bit discouraged and down 2 days ago.. my heart feeling so pain (the pain of being misunderstood, rejection etc)... at the edge of giving up... standing near the corner of the street... i need the presence of God like never before...

The verses on 17 & 18 really shaked me up..

17 As a woman with child and about to give birth writhes and cries out in her pain, so were we in your presence, O LORD.
18 We were with child, we writhed in pain, but we gave birth to wind. We have not brought salvation to the earth; we have not given birth to people of the world.

Just the same for the process of physical child delivering, there is normal to have birth pains for spiritual child delivering too. My spiritual eyes were opened widely for that.

i checked the meaning for 'writhes' in the online dictionary.. it means:

-To twist, as in pain, struggle, or embarrassment.

-To suffer acutely.

Later in the evening, God blessed me with the opportunity of sharing God's love to a fren again... and what was spoken actually turn out to be the same message in church during Sunday service.

I feel that God is assuring me that... "my daughter, dun have to worry, it's about me working through you.. and I would help you through it all... dun give up... perseveres on it... just like the joy that a mother has after she has given birth to baby/s... one day your joy would be complete too!"

Now i'm able to understand fully why i would have that 'thought' on a Saturday morning.

當你走到無力 Spiritually fatique?

Came across this hymn from a fren on facebook.. a note that posted there. I was stunned for a while when i first look at the title of the note as it was something that in my mind which i'm finding it hard to put into words. A syndrome which has been there for a couple of days... mixed feeling... multiple factors... come together with insomnia as the symptom (or should i say it's a package?). If to put it into a graph... i would said the graph reached its peak today after church. Feeling a bit "fatique spiritually"... wasn't talk or listen as much to one of my gal fren as i used to on my way back from church too. I reckoned that the tiredness is partly caused by insomnia... the impatience to wait for the harvesting season (just like what pastor preached in church today) by forcing things to happen before the ripen season etc.

Nevertheless, here goes the lyrics for the hymn...

詩集：美麗傳奇第二集－神蹟，第5首

當你走到無力繼續下去，當你感到寂寞困惱空虛，
只要相信神隨時扶助你，願助你解開困惑拋開痛悲。
當你跑到疲乏難再下去，當你感到疑惑說我是誰，
只要相信神完全明白你，就讓你伸手接受祂深愛你。
別害怕祂知你難受，擔當軟弱與困憂，
不需再懼怕，耶穌必拯救，願你開口接受，張開你手。
別害怕祂知你難受，擔當軟弱與困憂，
不需再懼怕，耶穌必拯救，讓你一生快樂展翅高飛，一個全新的你。

禱告 I Pray

A Chinese worship song by Stream of Praise that i really like when i first listened to it... every single word of the lyrics is speaking to my heart...

Thanks to a sis who brought it to me...

禱告 I Pray [讚美之泉10] (林後12:9)

詞、曲: 鄭楷 Kevin Cheng Key: E (原調) 4/4

禱告因為我渺小

禱告因為我知道我需要

明瞭 你心意對我重要

禱告已假裝不了

禱告因為你的愛我需要

你關懷 我走過的你都明白

有些事我只想要對你說

因你比任何人都愛我

痛苦從眼中流下

我知道你為我擦

在早晨我也要來對你說

主耶穌今天我為你活

所需要的力量都天天賜給我

你恩典夠我用

9 他 对 我 说 ： 我 的 恩 典 够 你 用 的 ， 因 为 我 的 能 力 是 在 人 的 软 弱 上 显 得 完 全 。 所 以 ， 我 更 喜 欢 夸 自 己 的 软 弱 ， 好 叫 基 督 的 能 力 覆 庇 我 。- 歌 林 多 後 書 12:9

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Battle in a Dream

As the ship made a turn near the cliff, we saw the ship of the enemies approaching us... though it has been expected that they would appear somewhere in the sea later even not now. Somehow deep in our hearts, we have this inner assurance that we would win the battle as our armies are much more stronger. I was the only one who know nothing about battle in the ship nor equipped with any fighting skill. I just have to depend on them for refuge especially this particular person. All of the men in my ship are wearing white and I was sticked with this particular man for protection. I feel that they're all like an 'angel' to me. Angel in a white robe. Angel in disguised.

For a moment later, all of us were floating at the sea.. the darts were throwing at us. Some of us were wounded by the darts slightly. Once me and the person who were protecting me were quite close to an enemy in the sea... i was rather anxious and he whispered to me that we don't have to be afraid as this particular enemy is deaf.

Not long later, some of us managed to catch a life boat. It was also one of the most difficult moment. Life and death is in the border. I remembered the darts were all throwing at us... how disastrous it was.

At a twinkling of the eyes, I realised that I was on my bed... awaking from a nap. It seems that someone would just wake me up from the dream each time when I was in the most threaten part of a nightmare... i whispered thanks to Daddy God.

Is there a spiritual meaning behind the dream... a mere message from the subconscious mind or a combination of it both? God knows. Again, i'm inviting Jesus to be my psychotherapist for interpretation of dream.

New Year Resolution - 2009

Today is the first day of Year 2009, I pray that everyone would have a blessed year ahead together with their loved ones.. in this special year that God has given to us.

Personally, i believe this is also a good time for personal reflection of the past one year while comtemplating about the coming new year (by inviting Jesus into the pictures).

Last night, me and a few brothers and sisters went over to a pastor's house as we awaiting the coming new year eagerly. We had a blessed time with Daddy God together as a family. It's just different (some of you would understand the feeling of it)... when there is love in a family. I believe that it's everyone's heart desire to have a home that is filled with love. Just as others, deep in my heart, i wish to have a family which is overflowing with Christ's love and one that could be a channel of God's blessings to many others. This would be made possible by inviting Christ Himself to lay the foundation for the family.. it's a gift. To mention a few, we played some games there which I really enjoyed (and i'm sure about others too) including writing testimonial on each other's back (by knowing the fact that how our writing could become a vessel of God's blessing and it's always lovely to read on how others think of us) and pictionary (happy family = P). I think sometimes what people need is just a good laugh (especially when life is going tough). The gift exchanged also kinda funny (where we were allowed to take gift away from others if we like and make them to pick a new one from under the Christmas tree)... especially.. as I did something 'bad' to someone by stealing his 'angel' away after given some thought on it (i hope he didn't cry?!). Angel has a special meaning to a sister and me this Christmas...

After some thought, i would like to categorise the resolution for this year into three major branches:

1) Growing deeper with Daddy God in the love relationship.
2) Sharpen the life-skill on loving people as Jesus teaches me.
3) To be in the centre of God's will in all areas of life.